"Workin' all day for a mean little man..."

My neighbors across the hall are incapable of exiting their apartment in morning without the wife yelling at the husband. Im. Possible. I don't care if I'm awake at 6:30 AM or not, there is absolutely ZERO reason for them to be yelling, in another language, saying nothing but what sounds like a reminder to be home for dinner, or something. They're not fighting. It's just instructions being yelled. Everyday conversation. In a hallway that carries sound better than inside any of the freakin' apartments!! Yet still, everyday, without fail, between 5:30 and 6:30, "Hey!! Blah, blah blah!!" And then SLAM!! The door is closed just as loudly. Again, not in anger. But in a completely oblivious-to-the-world act of everyday dealings. Yell, SLAM. If I leave my apartment before 8AM, I turn the knob and gracefully cushion the door into place, making almost no sound at all. Nope. Yell and SLAM!! Every. Day. Zero courtesy.

Piss me off.

"I deserve much more."

Hello everyone out there in the blogging world. It has been... well more than a little while since I graced you with my presence and I can honestly say that it was a pretty terrible hiatus that I was on. Over the last semester of school (or since the last time you heard from me) I somehow managed to turn my relatively stable life right around and instead of going up, I slammed it right back into the ground. To put it bluntly, I've not been having a very good time.

--

During the summer, I had to have a root canal. There was an infection in my tooth and unfortunately the only course of action was a root canal. Whatever. It had to be done, and it was. Honestly, it wasn't even that big of a deal. The real pain came before the surgery even took place, when the infection was just lingering around up in my tooth. So, in mid-October, I started to feel something up in my tooth again. The pain had returned. As bad as before. It was so bad that I had to pop a number of T3's that I had been given from the original incident just to be able to sleep. Eventually, I made it back home to get it looked at and sure enough, the root canal had done nothing. Instead of getting rid of the infection, it had just prolonged it for a short time.

I was sent to a specialist, and I found out I needed further work done. This time through the gum, and not the tooth. Fantastic. Oh well though. It had to be done. The problem was, I was getting right into mid-term season, and couldn't really afford to take off school to get the procedure and then recover a couple of days. No worries. I decided to wait. He gave me a new set of T3's and some more anti-biotics. That should tide me over until my mid-terms subside. Key words: "should have".

About, two weeks after this diagnosis, I wasn't feeling any better. The pain was no longer there, but mentally, I just wasn't back. I simply could not manifest the drive to complete anything I had to complete. I would sit at the computer for hours at a time, attempting to finish papers, and nothing came out. I was click away. I would type and delete. I. Could. Not. Write. It just wasn't happening. And I have no idea why.

It might have been due to my living by myself. Some of it might have been some sort of chemical reaction from my whole tooth incident. I don't know. All I am aware of is that I did not feel good for a long time. I've started to recover, but since the middle of October, its been tough. Its the feeling of not caring. The sense that no matter what I do, it won't matter. I actually believe that a conversation I had with one of my professors was the instigator of the worst of it. I walked away from the meeting with no other thought than "I don't want to be like her." And I don't. I don't want to write articles on movies that any schmuck on the street who can afford a movie rental and has a library card can do. And yes, believe me when I tell you, anyone can do what these professors do. Well, what most of these professors can do. All it takes is time, and the ability to form a thought. Not even an original thought. Just, a thought.

So, it was this meeting that kind of pushed me over the edge. I became unapproachable. I didn't feel like talking to people really. I didn't feel like responding to any of my friends who had tried to email me and ask what was new. I didn't care to talk with the people that I work with at the paper even, a task that is kind of hard to avoid considering I need to associate with them on creating my graphics. All in all, I just didn't feel like me.

About three weeks after my initial meeting with the specialist, the infection, although not hurting, started to inflame. An abscess started to grow above my tooth. It was disgusting. I felt disgusting. I was woozy. I was feeling sick. And the worst part of it all, it was during a production night, a night I had to work. Eventually, after running back and forth to and from the bathroom, the giant tumour of infection on my tooth punctured, and I spent half an hour rinsing my mouth, trying not to swallow the run out. Again, that did not feel good. But it was the peak of my not feeling well, and I had pretty much had enough. Both physically and mentally.

Do I still feel that way?? Like I said, not fully. I sort of have moments where I don't want to do something, but I believe I've pulled myself out of that dark place. I can't tell for sure if it was depression or not. Of course I realize that that's how it starts, and I don't really have any control over it, but I don't know if I want to believe I was depressed. The signs seem to point that way, but I don't necessarily want to admit anything. For right now, I just like to say that I wasn't well.

Since this whole ordeal, I've found ways to better myself and attempt to become the same as before. The day that I finished writing my play for this years Fr!nge Festival was a pretty huge boost. I sort of sat down, at 7am, after a totally accidental all-nighter (I had a few of those actually... I was either tired all the time, or not able to sleep at all) and just pumped it out. And it was good. I was happy with it. It felt good. It was the first positive thing I had done in about a month.

Of course, by that time, the semester was pretty much lost. I had fallen behind on one too many things and I am fairly confident my marks are going to reflect those bad weeks. No matter though. My way of thinking now is that this semester has been over for a while. I need to start fresh in the New Year is all. I've also been attempting to surround myself with more positive people. I've got the social influence back again and have started to hang out with people again. Some who I haven't really hung out with all that much before. And I think it has been taking an effect. A positive note amongst a scale of bad ones.

Anyway, that's pretty much my explanation for being M.I.A. (the singer, of course). I've been... well I haven't been me for the last little bit. But I've been getting there. And I'm hoping to be back soon. Love.

"On a warm summer's eve, on a train bound for nowhere..."

Well... I just dunno what to say. Summer is over. School is about to start. And I'm sitting here, semi-satisfied with the past three months and feeling a little bit unfulfilled too. Shall we play the update game?? Oh yes, we shall indeed.

So, where to begin...?? Hmmm... How about where I last left off. I believe my last post was on the day that my summer school ended. So let's take it from there. Summer school ended, and then real summer began. It started off on a rather slow note. Nothing too big to speak of in those two weeks that I actually had off before work started, but then again I think that I really enjoyed doing nothing for that amount of time anyway. Oh, I guess that our little Cord getaway to the always tropical destination of Toronto fell into that two weeks. And that was actually a pretty enjoyable time. I shant lie, I was actually dreading going to it. In my mind, it was going to be dull, and the hostel we would stay in would be gross, and just everything about Toronto made me not want to go. But I did. And I had a good time!! Everyone did end up getting pretty crunkified, but luckily Paula opted to stay sober too, and it ended up being a pretty good time. A pretty great Jays game wasn't too shabby either.

Man, can you tell I haven't written anything in a while?? This almost feels foreign to me. Still, I press on.

At the beginning of July I started work at a Theater Camp. To ensure anonymity, I won't tell you where though (if you read this, you obviously know me, and therefore can ask or already HAVE asked where it was I worked). Save for the getting used to waking up at 7 am every morning, I actually had a really great time working with the kids!! Honestly, when I started out, I wasn't too sure how it would all work out, but, lo and behold, I had a great time working there over the summer. The kids could be a handful at times, but for the most part, there were some really talented kids who showed up every week. Unless things change some time this year, I will probably be heading back there next summer... hopefully.

I've actually got a couple of camp stories saved up too. I'll let them out in separate posts though. I need SOME fodder for the next couple of weeks!!

So what else happened this summer?? Oh, I went camping. Sucked. JKZ!! Although, I probably won't be doing that again any time soon. I did throughly enjoy myself, it's just that it's too much effort for very little pay off. I understand why I enjoyed camping when I was younger... it's because my parents were the ones who had to set everything up. I just stayed to side and played with my Gameboy until something small came up that I could do. This time, when the onus of setting all the equipment up is on you, it just isn't fun. Still, the down time with ma peeps was great. Saw a lake snake. And no, I don't mean someone flashed us their dong in the water. I mean an actual snake swam right up in between my friends (I had just gotten out of the water). That was kinda coolio. First time I'd even seen a snake swimming.

There was also the game of Truth or Dare that resulted in Josh having to eat a ketchup covered Twinkie and Tarah eating a chunk of onion, and Poppy swigging a beverage that Oscar the Grouch would have thrown up. Cherry brandy, humus and warm milk should never be mixed (and of course, all the other stuff in there, but you get the picture from those three ingredients). I was feeling too sick to participate. Watching those guys down that stuff though did not help me in feeling better either, in case you were wondering.

On the movie front, it was an extremely disappointing summer. I saw a total of, wait for it, 7 movies. That's right. SEVEN. Considering over the last couple of summer I normally went about once every two weeks, this year I saw 7. Iron Man 2 (twice), Toy Story 3, Inception (twice), Knight and Day, The Karate Kid, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Piranha 3D. And in all honesty, they were all good. Toy Story 3 and Inception were fucking phenomenal, but the others were all, in the very least, good flicks. Still though, isn't that saying something about this summer at the movies?? I saw only 7, and those were the ones that were good?? Oh well, this fall season is looking quite promising, so maybe, just MAYBE, I'll be able to forgive Hollywood for the shitty summer.

I'm getting tried of writing now. I'll pick this up again in my next post. Au revoir!!

"Free and easy down the road I go."

September 1 = Summer is over. Therefore expect an update (a few actually) in the next day or so. For the time being, enjoy a free preview of a piece I did for the paper this week:

"Hey look out for that moving van..."

One of the smallest but most important parts of my day is taking a shower. I've often said that I can't function properly if I haven't had a shower to wake me right the eff up.

Currently, I have not had a shower today. Why?? Because there is no hot water happening in my apartment. I have no idea why this is, but, nonetheless, there's no hot water coming from the pipes.

If I don't get to shower tomorrow... I just don't know what will happen. I'm supposed to take an exam in less than 24 hours...

Things That I Love Today: Nicolas Cage Wants Cake

I seriously can't stop watching this. It's hypnotic. And the animation is really fantastic, considering it's done by one guy.

Test

I walk out onto the deck of the ship. I peer over the edge, panning the unbelievably incredible sight right before my eyes. It's almost hard to comprehend.

There, out on the water, are hundreds of other ships. And I'm not talking dinky sail boats either. I'm talking, massive, grey Navy built machines, carrying officers and planes and important cargo. They are all idly wafting across the waves right next to me, and it's in the very least a sight to behold. When these guys film a movie, they really go all out.

I turn around and head past the key grips pulling wires across the bow of the cargo ship that I've been situated on. I walk up the stairs to the next level, and get a better view of the absolutely massive "swim-up" movie screen they have displayed for all the patrons of the boats to sit and kill the down time while they set up the next scene. This screen is massive. Larger than most mega malls. I mean, this thing must be the size of 80 IMAX screen rolled into one. Outstanding. I cant tell what movie is playing though. Must be something not released yet. They like to do that for guys like this.

So, here I am. Standing on the deck of an 18 story cargo ship, looking out across acres of other vessels, sitting, wading in the open ocean, watching the massive movie screen, waiting for instructions.

I fear the longer I stand here, the more of the movie will be ruined for me, so I retreat to the corridors of the ship instead. As I do, I pass the film's director. He stops me, looking concerned. "Before you do those rewrites I asked for, I need you to take a test for me."

"Test??" What kind of test is he talking about?? And why me??

"Yeah, a test. We'll be docking shortly. Don't look so concerned. Everybody has to do it."

Oh. Alright. I shrug it off. If everybody has to do it, must be some insurance deal or something. Okay. So now I have to take a test. And now I have more time for those rewrites. Sounds like a fine tradeoff for me.

I walk back to my room to try and take a nap, catch up on some much needed sleep. Over the past few nights I can barely remember where all the time has gone. All I can recall is that I've been working and losing sleep. The specifics have been lost at sea.

As I make it to my room, I feel a shove behind me and I fall to the ground. I gather myself, and from the floor I look up to find Aaron Sorkin standing over me. Aaron Sorkin!? What is he doing here!? He's not involved on this film!? Or is he...

"Sorry about that" he mumbles, as he helps me to my feet. Look at this. Aaron Sorkin is apologizing to me. Damn this is a good day.

"Not a problem... You... you're Aaron Sorkin!?" I barely manage to make sense I'm so excited.

He laughs. "Yeah, I believe that I am."

"Wow, you are just the greatest."

Before anything at all can be replied, a voice interrupts our very thrilling encounter. "He's not that great. I mean, I've seen better."

From around the corner, Bradley Whitford enters. Danny Tripp. Josh Lyman himself has just entered the frame and I can barely stop the scream of joy from escaping my throat. Two of my favourites, one writer, one actor, are standing right out side my cabin on this ship set. Someone pinch me.

"Bradley Whitford!? I totally forgot you were doing some work on this movie!!"

"Yeah kid" replies Whitford. "I'm tearing it up with some supporting work."

"Excellent" is the only word that I can muster in reply. This is quite overwhelming.

The two men then sort of forget about me standing there, as they begin to walk away to discuss whatever two men of their stature would discuss. Obviously, he's the reason that Aaron is here, right??

Almost mechanically, I begin to follow them away. It's as though I'm being completely drawn into their presence. Which, of course, I'm absolutely fine with.

They make it to the lobby of the ship, and from there they turn to a conference room to the right. The doors are wide open, obviously no one is using it. Awesome, I think. I'm going into a meeting with Aaron Sorkin and Bradley Whitford. No, it doesn't cross my mind that I wasn't invited. Oh well. If they want me to leave, they can tell me to get lost. Until that happens though, it's meeting time!!

I walk into the room, and I must have turned my head for a split second, because it's only Brad in there right now. Aaron must have turned for the bathroom or something. I don't remember turning my head, but it easily could have happened. I mean, I realize how dumbstruck I'm being right now.

Stepping up to the rounded conference table, I look over at Brad and he's motioning for someone else to come in. From the back of the room, a door opens and in walks Richard Schiff, holding a pile of folders and a briefcase. No effing way. BOTH of these guys from "The West Wing" have roles in this movie!? Man, this is just beyond anything I have ever experienced. "Keep it together" I tell myself. "Stay calm and do not freak out."

Brad looks over at me and does the introductions with Richard. "Nice to meet you. I'm a huge fan" is what I manage. "Thanks." he says. "And what are you doing for the movie??"

"Well" I start, "I'm actually-"

From behind me, a production assistant knocks at the door. "Sorry" she says. "We need him on shore." She is pointing at me. Shore?? When did we hit land??

Damn. I don't wanna leave these guys. But, I also don't want to get fired. "I have to go. But I'll be back?? Sound good??" Both men nod in approval and I book it to the production assistant. I'm going to do what they need and come back for my meeting with Bradley Whitford and Richard Schiff. Hell yeah!!

The PA leads me down a series of hallways, and eventually on to a platform leading to solid ground. I honestly don't remember docking, but whatever. Must've been too caught up in what I was doing.

We get on land and wind up in a very modern looking building. I can't put my finger on it, but as soon as I step inside, I feel skeptical of what is going on. Still, I follow along. From here on in though, I maintain to be cautious about everything. That's just what this place incites in me.

After walking for what felt like quite a long time, we arrive in front of a very pristine looking desk, with a very cute blonde receptionist working behind the counter. She sees us walk in and acknowledges us right away. A very peppy "hi there!!" rolls out between her perfect teeth.

"Here's the last one" the assistant says as she basically hands me over to the blonde.

"Great!!" replies the blonde, completely accepting me like some sort of package.

The PA turns and exits through the massive wooden doors, and the blonde takes me by the arm and leads me down a corridor full of thin, steel doors.

"So, I'm going to put you in room four, okay?? Then the instructor will be with you in a moment."

I don't really understand what's happening, but I nod in approval anyway. There's something very real about this girl that makes me trust where she's taking me.

I figure I should inquire. "This is all a little odd, no??"

"What do you mean??" she retorts.

"Well, no one has told me anything that's going on yet. I have no idea where I am."

"Oh!! I'm sorry. This is the testing area. I'm sure someone told you about this??"

"Ah, THIS is the test. Okay. I gotcha now."

She laughs at my little faux pas. She's pretty cute when she laughs.

Once I clue in to where I am, it starts to make sense. I begin to see other people I recognize from the set in each of the little rooms. Key grips, sound designers. Some rooms have 10 people, some have just one. I still don't get what they are testing, but everyone's here. So, yeah. It must be insurance related.

As we reach a large steel door with "4" on the front, I see Russell Crowe come from the washroom and enter a door across the hall. Why am I not freaking out at the site of Russell Crowe you ask?? Because he's one of the stars of this movie, and we've met several times. It's still exciting to say that "I know Russell Crowe", but I don't have that same "first time encounter" feeling to deal with this time. He's a pretty cool guy.

I don't really understand what he's doing though. He's got a large grey wig on and matching beard. Is he still in make-up from shooting a scene?? Hmm. I would have thought he would have been wrapped for the day. Perhaps he's gone incognito for the "test"... that seems a little odd though. Something's up with that...

The receptionist opens door "4" and I walk inside to the likes of a lot of people I don't really recognize. There's a nerdy Indian guy and a pudgy little bald man sitting around a large block that's supposed to be a table I assume. There are a few other people, but no one worth remembering. Then from the corner of my eye, a salt and pepper haired man walks over and sits down at the block, as if to say that with my arrival we are ready to begin. It takes me a second to realize that this is George Clooney. Why haven't I freaked out at the site of Clooney though?? Same reason as Crowe. Been there. Met him already.

As soon as I make my way over and take a seat at the block, the "instructor" has come into the room. He's an odd looking guy, with thick framed glasses and a tan baseball cap with some logo I don't recognize. He's wearing a pair of khakis and a short sleeve collared shirt with a rather boring yellow pattern on it. Oh, and to top it all off, he's got a pair of sandals on. Sandals and long pants. This guy is a winner.

The instructor walks over to the big block where everyone else in the room has gathered. He starts to spew out instructions, while handing out an odd looking piece of paper.

"Begin when I hand you your paper. When you're finished just sit back and relax, and wait for the others. Then we'll move on to part two."

Part two?? How many parts does this thing have?? What the hell is this test for??

He puts a piece of weird paper in front of me, and I take my first look at what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't understand anything on it. There are questions, but nothing that requires an answer. They aren't organized either. In fact, they are situated on the page as if to make a picture of a beach with a palm tree. Very peculiar. Very peculiar indeed.

I take a glance around at the other people around me. They all seem to know what to do with the sheet in front of them. Or if they don't, they sure are bullshitting quite quickly. Even Clooney.

The instructor sits on the windowsill to my direct left. I try to look beyond him at the cityscape on the other side of the panel. That's not really happening. Okay, back to the paper. I stare at it, not really grasping what they want. I simply don't see any coherence in what I'm looking at. I turn to the instructor. "What is it we're supposed to be doing??"

"Oh I can't tell you that" is the response that I get. Thanks for the help asshole.

"Well, what if we don't do this 'part'?"

"That's your choice. It's up to you."

"What will happen if I don't finish."

"I can't really tell you that."

What a great help this guy is. For an instructor he sure as hell isn't very good at instructing. I feel like knocking that stupid hat off his head and walking right out of here. But, something tells me that that may result in my getting fired. Okay. Back to the test.

I stare at the piece of paper for a long time. Nothing is clicking. It just doesn't make any sense. I can't get past this image of a beach. I don't get how no one has made a comment about that yet. Some time in between my thinking about the beach, I reach the decision to just not finish this "test". Maybe that is the answer. Just to not do it. Alright. Done. A+. What's next??

I look up and wait for everyone else to finish their stuff. As I do though, everything around me is distorted. The room looks like it would had I just been staring at the sun for a really long time. Everything is bright, and not everything is clear. I don't know what the hell is going on, but I deduce that it must have something to do with staring at that funky "test" they put in front of me. I catch Clooney's eye and without words he gives me a look that says "I have no idea what the fuck is going on." I silently agree with him. This place is getting weirder by the second.

Once the small Indian guy has finished his test, the instructor goes over the door and locks it. Everyone starts to look around, not knowing what he is doing that for. Telling myself to be as cautious as I can, my eyes start to dart around the room, looking for what's coming next. I stare to the window, a million things could come in through there. In the corner there is a vent. Are they going to gas us?? What the hell is going on?? Why did he lock the door??

Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I see a red dot on the wall. Sniper. Fuck. I bolt to the floor, out of range from the window. Everyone just looks at me. I yell, "Get down!! There's a sniper's laser there!!" Everyone follows suit and goes flat on the ground. The instructor turns around and askes what we're all doing. The short balding man, rather sheepishly, tells him that "there's a sniper's target on the wall!!"

I look back up and the laser is gone. The instructor starts to laugh. He says "that's not a sniper's laser!! It's the one attached to my hat!!" He flips a little light on the side of his hate, and a tiny red dot appears on the bald man's head. Everyone looks at one another, confused as to what is going on, but the instructor is still laughing at this little miscommunication. "Haha!! Yeah, it's okay. There's no sniper...

"But I do have a gun!!" As he screams this, he flinches and the bald guy tries to melt himself into the floor. He's flattening himself as much as he can, as if that will save him from this maniac. Everyone in the room lets out various shrieks, but I can't take my eyes off the instructor who hasn't revealed any sort of weapon since making this outlandish claim. He starts laughing again, and chuckling to his crowd, he reveals "I'm just kidding. There's no gun."

Almost in unison, the rest of the room let's out a sigh of relief. The instructor, who finds his "joke" a little too funny, starts helping people to their feet. To my disbelief, some of the people are accepting his offer of courtesy and beginning to laugh along with him. I'm not buying it, and need to get the hell out of there.

"Washroom??" I ask without another word.

"If you must" he says. "Ask the receptionist where it is. She'll help. Hurry back though, or you'll miss part two."

Oh what a horrible thing that would be. Missing part two. I think I'd rather attend a funeral than go back for part two.

I unlock the giant steel door, and walk down to where I came in. As I pass door after door, I start to question why the hell I am here. Obviously, something is off here, but I still don't know what. Why would the studio send all of us here to take this "test"?? What the hell is it all for??

The cute blonde steps out in front of me just as I'm about to turn to corner to the reception.

"Hiya!!" she beams.

"Hi." I say back. "I was looking for the washroom...??"

"Right over here. Lemme show you."

Once again, she grabs me by the arm and leads me down a hall just past the one I came from. I look down at her, and realize that maybe I'll be able to get some answers from her. She doesn't seem to be "in" on it. I pull her close, and in a low enough voice for only her to hear, I inquire, "This place is a little weird, huh??"

She looks back up at me. I can feel the heat of her body on mine, that's how close we are. The look on her face goes from concerned puppy to genuine relief. "Honey, compared to the last place I worked?? It's not even close."

Somehow, from that answer, I'm convinced she doesn't know what happens behind those steel doors. Fair enough.

We arrive at a massive metallic door that she swings open and leads me inside. I assume there will be separate doors for washrooms on the inside, but not so much. She has taken my right into the washroom itself. It's a huge room. Everything around is made of steel. The sinks, the stalls, even the walls are coated with sheets of metal. It's very futuristic.

She takes my arm and leads me right over to the urinals. I look across the way, and see women entering at the other end. Oh. It is a unisex bathroom. Women's is on that side, and men's is on this one. I put my focus back on the cute blonde.

"Well, here we are."

"Thank you very much."

"And you shouldn't worry about them out there." She points to the door. I look back but as I return my focus, she pulls me close again. "It's all kosher."

"Okay..." I warily retort.

"Alright. Back to my desk." She pushes away from me. "But one before you head back" and she lifts up her dress to give a quick flash of her pink underwear. Whoa. Was not expecting that.

She smirks at my shock and brushes by me as she walks back out of the washroom. I'm left standing in front of the cold and hollow urinal, not really understanding what I just saw.

And then it hits me.

This is the test. Everything. They want to see if I understand my own common sense enough to leave the ridiculousness of this place. Yes, the blonde receptionist was cute and quite sexy, but how often does something like that happen. They are trying to see if I know enough to walk straight out the front door of this place. Yeah, that must be it!!

I turn to take a pee, planning my "escape" from this crazy building. The only thing I can't figure out though is who "they" are...

Oh well. Pee and leave. That's the plan. We'll deal with the consequences later.

END.

"Seems like each day disappears."

Before I start, this post is going to have a very, very minor spoiler for the movie Carrie. It will be about the very opening scene, so it's not like I'm giving away the ending or anything like that, but I will be revealing a rather... well surprising opening sequence. You have been warned. Okay Vlad??

So, in my one class yesterday, we had to read Stephen King's Carrie as one of our novels. Fun stuff!! Now, our prof wasn't in class yesterday so as a decent replacement of an actual lecture on the book, we got to watch Brian De Palma's film adaptation of the novel. Hooray!! I love the film version of Carrie. It's very well done.

Anyway, the movie doesn't take the whole class period up, so after it's over, we have a mini group assignment in which we're given a bunch of terms from the course and we have to discuss the differences between the novel and film while applying it to the terms we were given. Easy enough to get through, despite needing to have someone in the group Wikipedia a few of the terms. So, we do it, present it, wait for the other groups to present, and then we can go.

The last group to present though is made up of two girls who didn't make it back from the break right away and chose to do their own topic instead of just joining another group already in progress. That's fine, everyone was probably almost finished anyway. The topic that sub-prof gave them involved discussing the overall feel of the film compared to that of the novel. So instead of having to talk about how "sadomasochism" or "the uncanny" applies to each medium, they were supposed to talk more about the aesthetics of each, roughly.

From the very beginning of the girls speaking, it was clear they were not fans of the film. That's fine, to each his/her own. But let me paintcha a lil' pitcher here. These two girls in this group are the kind of girls who barely shut up long enough to understand what the movie was about in the first place. They bring their laptops to class every week, and sit, gossiping about whatever, all the while lounging around in their low riding sweat pants, not giving a crap about the people around them. That is the kind of people that we are dealing with here. Understand??

Anyway, they start to talk to the class, and really don't seem to have any sort of soft spot for the movie. "It's not scary, it's funny" is a phrase I believed they used. Okay. Alright. That's fair enough. The atmosphere when we were watching the movie wasn't really the best. It was day time, in a classroom as opposed to a lecture hall and there was a window which had no blinds that worked, so it was pretty light in the room. With a movie like this, the setting can really add a lot to the seance of the whole movie. Oh well, they didn't like it, no big deal. Or so I thought.

The very beginning of Carrie plays out like this: The camera slowly (like, slow motion) weaves through a high school girl's locker room. There are girls all around, changing, hanging around in the buff and/or in their underwear, having a relatively good time it seems. The camera reaches the showers of the locker room, and here we have Carrie, the only girl left in the showers, naked, lathering up her body. The whole sequence, with the slow motion and eventual close-ups of Sissy Spacek fondling her breasts and rubbing soap down her midriff, is obviously really hypersexualized. De Palma sort of eases the audience into this very erotic and soft setting, making everyone watching take notice of this girl and how innocent she really is. Then, everything suddenly changes. With a shot focused on her thighs, a small river of blood begins to flow. Carrie is getting her period. But the way that she reacts to this, we get the feeling that something is horribly wrong. She looks down at her bloodied/soaped up hand and then down at her privates. She starts to flip out. Something is wrong. She doesn't know what is happening to her. Oh my gosh. This is her first period, and she has no idea what a period is.

In her horror, she runs to the other girls in the locker room, pleading for help. She thinks that something is seriously wrong with her. She later admits, she thought she was dying. As she clammers around the room, looking for someone, ANYONE to help her, the girls all start to turn on her. What do they do?? They start to taunt her. They start to throw tampons at her. They start to whip towels at her head. It eventually gets to the point that Carrie, the obvious outcast amongst this group of teenage girls, is cowering in the fetal position in the corner of the shower, not knowing what is happening to her, while these other bitches yell obscenities and throw female napkins at her.

It's a brutal sequence. If there was ever one way to depict a clear villain in a movie, this was undoubtedly it. By the end of this scene, you cannot help but feel anything but sorry for Carrie. It's impossible. Or so I thought.

While finishing their thoughts on the film, Sweatpants Girl Number 2 decides to add one final point to her presentation. "I don't know about anything else, but in that first part there, I was actually on the side of the girls throwing stuff. Carrie was too annoying, and I got what they were doing. I dunno. Maybe it was just me."

I didn't know what to do with myself. I was in shock. I literally had my arms in the air, searching for words that just were not coming out. I looked around the room, and people who weren't really listening before suddenly took notice. This girl would rather throw tampons at a naked girl who is terrified for her life than try and figure out what is wrong with her.

I can't recall the last time I ever wanted to interrupt someone and tell them to stop talking as badly as I wanted to in my class yesterday. Frustration to the max.

It's one thing to not like the movie, that's fine. It's something else completely when you basically admit to being a total bitch.

"That sounds like something you should have said."

So, I'm sitting, doing an essay and watching The Godfather over my shoulder. Why am I watching The Godfather?? Because it's on TV, and it's beyond great, that's why.

So, I'm watching, and waiting for my dinner to finish baking, and the scene where Michael goes out to dinner with The Turk and the Police Captain comes on. In case you have never seen this movie before (then stop everything you're doing and WATCH it) this scene features arguably the greatest acting in the history of cinema. Obviously, that is debatable, but what isn't debatable is the clinic that is put on in this scene by Al Pacino. It's the scene in the movie that turns him. He literally becomes a man and a gangster during the same dinner, and it's an unbelievably fascinating study in the acting form.

What do you think happens then?? The movie is on, the scene is building. They start talking in Italian. Michael is shifting back and forth, the anxiety is building. There is no score to take away from the moment. And then he asks to go to the bathroom. The moment we've all been anticipating. He gets up, and they stop him. Oh shit. "Naw, I searched him. He's clean." Phew. Okay, he's going to bathroom and he's gonna get the gun. Oh man, this is nerve racking. Oh this is such a good... and then?? Commercial.

WHAT THE EFF!?!? You break up one of the most tension filled scenes in all of history to go to COMMERCIAL!? Whomever is in charge of programming over there CH, they need to have their cutting privileges revoked. Shame on you!!

"I've got better things to do."

In one way, the title of this post is ironic, and in a completely other way, it's true.

I'm sitting here watching the England/USA World Cup game, and I can't help but thinking that I really don't care. I mean, yes, I want England to win, and yes, I want the American's to perish, but this game holds very little pull in the grand scheme of the tournament, so, I don't really care. I really do have better things to do.

But, as I've already stated, I'm not doing anything that I need to do. I actually have some chores and an essay that I could be working on. Yet, the "better things" that I have to do, are meaningless. They are me sitting watching a soccer match that barely captivates me, writing a blog about the stuff I'm not doing... playing MVP Baseball 2005 for the original XBOX. Man, I have no motivation to do anything, ever. What the hell is wrong with me??

Things That I Love Today: Mortal Kombat Redone

Holy Motherfuckin' Shit. I know I rarely swear on here, but this video calls for it. My second things that I love today happens to be pure genius. I was never any sort of hardcore fan of the Mortal Kombat games or anything, but I understood and played them often enough.

This trailer/short film, by people who haven't revealed themselves yet, is just beyond awesome. I can't get over how gripping it was to watch. They need to make this movie, and they need to make it now. I'll wait here.

Things That I Love Today: Woody Harrelson

Is there anything awesome that this man can't do??

"Once I was a selfish fool who never understood..."

You ever have that feeling like you KNOW what you want to write, but can't put it on paper?? It's like you can visualize how you want to lay everything out but can't translate any of it on to paper?? Well, welcome to my current predicament. And this is for an essay too. It's so balls, that I can't even express how balls it is.

The Weird Stuff I See: The Old Man and the Locked Car

So, this is a new feature that I think I'll introduce to my blog. Every single day I see someone/something that is just too ridiculous NOT to write about, tell someone about, or remember. Therefore, I give you the inaugural entry.

The other day, I went to go and get some groceries before I came back to school. So I drove over the store, grabbed my food and stuff, came back out to the parking lot and began loading my stuff into the trunk. As I'm doing this, the car parked right beside me starts to unlock, as if being controlled by a person with a remote entry key bob thing. So, I don't think anything of it, and I continue about my business. But the locks keep making that "click click" noise. I sort of take a glimpse around the area and I don't really see anybody around, or at least not within distance to have wanted to unlock this car right beside me.

I finish loading the trunk, the car beside me still clicking away, and walk the two feet away to put the cart back into that "designated parking lot hold" where you drop your orphaned shopping carts. As I turn around to do this however, I see an older guy (probably 60) standing by a car across the way. What is he doing?? Well, he's standing next to the car door, clicking his remote key entry device, looking really confused as to why his car won't open. I look back to the car parked beside mine, and it is roughly the same colour as the one this man is in front of. This guy is making a valiant attempt to open the door to a car that is not his. And he cannot figure out what he is doing wrong.

I try to go back and finish what I'm doing, attempting to not let this guy see me laughing at his stupidity. The whole situation gets better though. He finally gets fed up with trying the electronic entry, and takes out his key to try and get into the drivers side. He inserts the key, turns, but nothing. The look of confusion on this guys face is the best. It's as though he thinks someone has replaced his vehicle with another one just to play a joke on him.

As I get into the car to leave, I hear the car beside me make a little "beep beep" noise, obviously from the alarm. I look back at the guy, and I realize what he is doing. I figured that he he's figured out his mistake and has pressed the alarm in order to find out where it is he's actually parked HIS car. No. Instead he is pointing the electronic device BACK at the car he is standing in front of, attempting for one last glimmer of hope to prove that this car is indeed his. This guy is hilarious. I guess, after a couple of clicks, his attention was grabbed by the other car that was that shade of tan going off, forty feet away and began to walk over to where he actually left his vehicle. So, not only did it take this man a good minute and a half to realize that that was not his vehicle, he had to resort to clicking his car's alarm to accidentally find out WHERE it was he parked HIS car.

Probably the best part of the story was that this guy had walked out of the bank, meaning, he couldn't have been away from his vehicle for more than 3 - 5 minutes. He parked. Went into the bank. Came out. In that time he had forgotten where he had parked (amongst a mostly empty parking lot I might add).

I would just like to thank that man for providing me with a laugh that lasted all the way home. Sir, your embarrassing moment will forever be remembered now. Thanks.

"I don't know where we came from, I don't know where were going."

Last day in May, figured I should put something in and make it seem like I put SOME effort in during the month.

So, this past week, I did something fun. As mentioned in a previous post, I saw Beauty and the Beast LIVE on stage. Basically, it was a the Broadway show that tours around and puts the show on for people and such. Going into this show, I was uber excited. Like, I don't know if my expectations could have been higher. Did the show live up to them?? Well, yes. And no. A little bit of both. I'll explain.

The show itself, was fantastic. It was so much fun, and from the very first musical number I felt at home. That's how Beauty and the Beast makes me feel, like I am right where I want to be. So from a purely entertaining standpoint, the show blew the doors off the place. It was so good. The downside to it all though was the little begrudging fact that I had seen this show once before. Now, I realize that it was quite a long while ago, and I didn't remember it in full, but what I did remember happened to play against this particular production. For example, the fact that this was a traveling musical, they don't really have the resources to carry on the spectacular costumes and make-up that I remember from the original time I saw it. They were great for what they were, but I had to sit there watching the play, knowing what these characters and sets once looked like when they were on Broadway. So, experience really worked against me in that aspect.

One other thing that was hard for me to get past as well was the manipulation of the "Beast" character. In the original show, he was fantastic. They got him down to a tee. In this version, he was changed... a little too much for my liking. The character became a lot more comedic than he is in the movie or original stage production. Compared to the movie version, this character was like Nicolas Cage (y'know, funny Nicolas Cage) up there. I can only figure that this was done to please the younger audiences, which is still fine, but I still would have loved to have seen the brutish, somber Beast I have come to know and love. There were a few more negativities as well, including the seemingly rushed second act, and a couple of actors who didn't quite fit their roles (Mrs. Potts could not hold a steady English accent), but I'm pretty sure I would have been able to find quips like that in almost any version of this show.

But, looking past all of those "bad" qualities, the positives outweigh them all. The actress who was cast as Belle, was brilliant. We decided that she looked like the love child of Amy Poehler and Reese Witherspoon, and she had an absolutely beautiful Broadway fit voice. The actor who played the Beast, although he had the altered character to deal with, nailed "If I Can't Love Her", one of my favourite original songs from the musical, so that was lovely. I definitely mouthed along to that song for sure. Gaston eventually grew on me. The guy they had playing him didn't really have the correct build, or voice to play the character, but he did wind up molding himself into everyone's favourite arrogant prick. Gawd, I would love to play that role. That or Lumiére. Either would be fine.

Speaking of the debonair candelabra, the actor they had playing him worked his way into the role as well. So did Cogsworth actually. They didn't quite match the give and take of the original duo, but it was still great the way they interacted. A real standout aspect of the musical as far as casting went actually, were the three women playing the "Silly Girls". They were dead on with the comedy, and I genuinely anticipated everything they did when they came out on stage.

What really was the standout though (as you would probably be able to guess) were the song numbers. Oh. My. Gawd. The first half alone was absolutely worth the price of admission. From the opening moments of Belle, I was in it for the long haul. How they were able to build the entire open market scene from the opening of the movie on that less-than-standard-Broadway-sized stage was just a wonder to behold. Three sets of houses, being moved and jostled around the stage through choreographed extras all the while belting the magnificent opening tune was more than enough to slap a smile on my face and give me goosebumps. It was magical, and as good as I remember during my first trip to see the show a decade and a half ago. Combined with an opening act that then featured "Gaston", with the performers belting out a mind-numbingly awesome choreographed Stomp-esque routine with beer mugs, and then the endlessly fun "Be Our Guest" with lavish special effects and costumes, the opening half of the play was everything I came to see and more. The second half of the show lacked the same pizzazz inspiring numbers of the first half, thus wasn't AS amazing, but it still featured "Beauty and the Beast" (albeit, there was a definite longing for a better set piece for that song... again, they seemed to be restricted by the stage/venue) which is arguably my favourite Disney song of all-time. So, in the very least, it was still goose-bump inducing.

Basically, I loved the show. I mean, I wish I would still have had the opportunity to see it one more time at its home on the Broadway stage, but alas, it's been well over a year since it was cancelled, and I'll just have to take what I can get. And if this is what I have to take, then brother, that's fine with me.

"Cold, and driven to this sad conclusion..."

In two days time, I get to see Beauty and the Beast, the stage show. That's right. The massively popular Broadway hit which took it's final curtain in New York a little more than a year ago, is now on tour, and I get to see it for the first time since I was... oh God. 7 years old maybe?? Has to be. Anyway, it's difficult to express how excited I am for this, because it really just donned on me when "If I Can't Love Her" came on my iTunes just now. I am so stoked. It'll be my first stage show in quite some time. Spamalot may have been the last one that I saw, like, 3 or 4 years ago. So this will be phenomenal. I won't talk about it too much now, just to say that I am starting to count down the hours until I'm sitting in the theatre.

My favourite Disney movie of all-time, and I now get to experience the stage show again with an actual prospect of REMEMBERING IT ALL!! It's going to be great.

Top 100 Movies of All Time: #94 - #93

94. THE DEPARTED (2006, MARTIN SCORSESE)

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Vera Farmiga, Mark Wahlberg, Alec Baldwin, Ray Winstone and Martin Sheen

This post represents my 151st blog post (I started this one before my 150th one, but didn't get it done in time). Rather than pumping out another "Things That Annoy Me On 'Friends'", I figured I would simply keep my Top 100 movie list flowing with a very special two-for-one entry. So, eyes at attention, and let's begin.

We begin with the first Scorsese entry on the list (trust me, there are at least a couple more of these babies). Now, I'm not one who normally likes to put movies from the last couple of years on my lists, but as I've recently realized, 2006 isn't really "a couple of years ago" any more. Thus, I give you the most recent entry in my Top 100 (so far).

The Departed is a very intriguing movie. It doesn't quite feel like a Scorsese movie, yet at the same time it fits right in with the best of his repertoire. There is this universality to the film, something that doesn't really come along with one of his pictures. Usually, there is a sense that only a select group of people who really understand what they are watching will get a film that Martin Scorsese directs. This movie though, that's not really the case. It breaks that barrier, and it becomes a general audience type of experience instead. And it completely works on that other level.

When this movie first came out, I saw it at theaters twice. If you know me, you know that it takes a very special movie to make me see it twice at theaters, so The Departed falls into that select group of films. I believe the original appeal of the movie for me was to see Jack Nicholson being directed by Scorsese. I mean, this was really the last great director that Happy Jack had to work with (he'd done Kubrick, Antonioni, Huston, Polanksi, Nichols, Kazan, Burton...) so having these two involved in the same project was something that I couldn't miss. Why weren't DiCaprio or Damon or Wahlberg a draw for me at this point?? Good question. To tell you the truth, I didn't start to have any such fondness for any of those actors until I saw this movie actually (Wahlberg has actually lost my fond feelings... I'm confident this movie was a fluke for how good he was). But yeah. Going into the movie, it was all about Nicholson taking on a role that was really DeNiro's (in a strange sense anyway).

So, after that first screening (with my brother actually) I was well aware that what I had just watched was something special. It was only the second Scorsese movie that I had ever had the pleasure of seeing in theaters, the way it was meant to be seen. The first time, was Gangs of New York and, yes, it was a definite treat to be able to see that movie at theaters, but it just was lacking a little bit of... something. Maybe it was pacing?? Well, whatever it was, there was no denying that The Departed had something that Gangs was lacking. And I knew it right from the gritty get go, in that silhouette shot of Nicholson that this was going to be something to behold.

I mentioned before that this was the first real time that I had taken notice of both Leo and Damon, and that's actually not a lie. I mean, I had lasted through movies like Titanic, The Basketball Diaries and DiCaprio's other Scorsese roles up until this point, while on the other side of the coin, Dogma, Good Will Hunting and Saving Private Ryan, but I had never seen anything by either actor that made me really sit up and take notice. The Departed acted as that trigger which made me start to see each guy as an actual adult talent. Leo, as Billy Costigan, shed the whole pretty boy thing and shrunk down to the little rodent that he needed to be. I still believe that, had he been nominated for The Departed instead of Blood Diamond (which is actually a pretty damn decent performance as well) he would have given Forest Whitaker a run for his money.

Vera Farmiga is really something to talk about as well. Not only was it a phenomenal "take-notice" performance, the entire idea behind her character is just fantastic. Having the connection between the two "rats" be their relationship with this woman is just fantastic, and a bloody challenge for ANYONE to play, let alone a relatively unknown actress. But she does it. And she somehow does it with dignity. She's sleeping with two guys, and yet we actually care for her as a person. Best. Psychiatrist. Ever (in this movie).

Of course, all of these points cower in the shadow of the best thing this movie has going for it, and that is "the elevator scene". So very rarely does a movie culminate and boil so well that the final, inevitable confrontation has played out so fantastically causing me jaw to literally drop from the shock factor. After this particular scene (y'all know what I'm talkin' 'bout!!) I was simply floored. I couldn't believe what I had just seen. And, still, the movie kept going. It wasn't as though this particular shock happened, and then BAM, ending. No, no. We get, BAM, shock and then... BAM, second shock. That final appearance by that certain someone is just... well, if it were a steak it would probably cost $300 (right Vlad??), let's just put it that way.

All in all, the movie is fantastic. I have actually made myself want to go and watch it right now, but I don't have my copy on me at this second. Shoot (right Mark Wahlberg??)

93. BRING IT ON (2000, PEYTON REED)

Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Eliza Dushku, Jesse Bradford and Gabrielle Union

Umm, so, this one is kind of a cheat. You see, it was actually on TV today, and I never really miss a chance to watch it, and I really just love it so very much, and was going to write about it anyway... so screw it, I'm adding it to me list. Deal with it.

Some may classify this entry under the "guilty pleasure" category of movie watching, yet, I continually find myself seeing the actual, amazing cinematic value of the cheerleading teen dream that is Bring It On. But actually, it's such a good screenplay. It takes the best elements of the teen sub-genre (the best of Heathers, the best of Better Off Dead, etc.) and flips it to meet the standards of the correct era. I actually believe that it is a fantastic movie because of this.

Now, technically, I wasn't a teen when the movie was released. But I was in that group of tweens that always love to love those teen movies that all the older kids love. Make sense?? Well, it SHOULD!! But I remember seeing this movie at theaters, and I remember knowing that it was in fact considered a "girly" movie, and yet I left feeling like I didn't care. I knew it was a good movie then, and I have been increasingly convinced of this fact ever since.

Besides such amazing witticisms as "She puts the 'itch' in 'bitch'" and "Missy's the poo, so take a big wiff" the movie also boasts an actually solid storyline. Yeah, it might be viewed as little bit cliché, but all in all, the "high-class valley dolls" vs. the "straight outta Compton anti-Barbies" works. And it works well. In fact, in the end, when the Rancho Carney Toros come in second place and the East Compton Clovers wind up winning Nationals (a decision that was totally bogus by the way... watch the final routines. The Toros got ripped off) it justifies the entire "cliché" that's had to be endured during the first hour and a half anyway. Come on!! How many movies can actually get away with awarding the final trophy to the competition and still have you be okay with it?? Not many. Not many at all. Especially as far as sports movies go. So they pull off an almost impossible film feat, and that cannot be overlooked.

Another factor that we have in Jessica Bendinger's amazing script is a series of character names that I can't help but applaud and love every time I watch this movie. I'm a person who loves a good character name. I get kind of annoyed when we're subject to a series of "Marks" and "Jacks" and "Jennifers" and "Marys". I think that if you can make an uncommon name work, use it when you can!! In this movie alone, we have Torrance, Missy, Cliff, Isis, Courtney, Whitney, Darcy, Carver, Casey, Les and Jan (the last two are, of course, dudes). So major kudos is due to Ms. Bendinger for taking a chance on naming her characters and actually having them work in the favour of a making the movie better. They sound natural, and they add a level of sophistication to the whole storyline. That's my feeling anyway.

What else this movie accomplishes though, is that it

actually makes Kirsten Dunst seem like a legitimate actress. As difficult as that task is, she is completely capable as head Toros cheerleader Torrance Shipman (again, GREAT name). Then of course you have my childhood mega-crush, Ms. Eliza Dushku. Missy Pantone was, for me, the epitome of babe-liscious. Because of this, I still find her to be really gorgeous, but I will always know that my love of her began with this movie. "I transfered from Los Angeles. Your school has no gymnastics team. This is a last resort..." (my favourite cheer of all-time... well, that one, or one of the ones from the cheerleader tryouts in The Replacements. It's close though).

I think that the undisputed best part of this movie though falls onto the shoulders of one man though. That man of course, is the cheer choreographer, Sparky Polastri. "Cheerleaders are dancers, that have gone retarded." I don't think I need to say anything more than that.

Basically, I think I will always have a huge soft-spot for Bring It On. It gets a bad rap amongst a lot of people because of its association with being a chick flick and the four (how there are FOUR sequels, I will never know) . But, I assure you, it is worth the price of admission. Or the price of a rental. Or more likely than both of those, it is worth the price of the time you will need to spend to watch it. Trust me. It is a lovely gateway to one of the only other decent teen movie of the naughts, and that is Mean Girls. It doesn't have the cult appeal, but you watch it, and tell me there isn't the same intelligence involved in both of these movies. (Although, I think I'll still throw the edge to Tina Fey).

"Hello. It's me."

I think that I've finally figured it out. No, I think that I have. "What" you ask?? Me. I think I've finally figured myself out. 

Now this being my 150th post, I figured it would be as good a time as any to explore this new discovery. 

Specifically, I believe that I have finally figured out what continually holds me back in life. Or rather, the thing that I most fear. Yeah, let's call it that. I have finally understood what it is I most fear in this world, and, despite popular opinion, it is not spiders. No. What I feel is the thing I am most scared of, is being a stereotype. And let me explain...

Throughout my entire life, I have always attempted to hold myself up to other people and be able to say, in at least some small capacity, that I am more of my own person than they are. Well, maybe not "MORE my own person" but the word DIFFERENT would at least have to appear in there anyway. And in this self-comparison with other people, I have noticed that I have continually held back for things that I otherwise may have actually liked. Take an example, shall we??

From as early as high school, I have known myself to make conscious decisions to try and not dress like everyone else around me. I have always been aware of attire being associated with specific image/cultural definitions and have always felt that one should dress in what he/she wants to without having been influenced by any outside sources. So, in this time of my life when fashion has been as important as anything else going on around us, I have always dressed the way I wanted to, being very careful not to emerge looking similar to any one "social clique" that existed around me. And I still do this. I refuse to develop into a scenester, or hipster, or whatever you will. 

It is not just fashion though. I refuse to give up my music tastes to the greater good. I maintain that I love my country music, and my soft alt-rock and so on. When I am recommended a new "Arcade Fire" record or something by "Vampire Weekend" (which, by the way, is one of my most hated band names of all-time), I just can't bring myself to give it a decent chance because that's not really representational of my own, unique personality. That doesn't mean that this particular brand of music is bad, or anything like that, it's just that I am able to make a strictly conscious decision to make sure that I'm not associated with the common stereotype who does in fact like this type of music, and these particular bands. 

I have never been able to understand this desire to conform to a specific taste that a massive group holds. I see all of these people around me in university and in shopping malls and pretty much everywhere else, wearing their big, lens-free "Buddy Holly"-esque glasses, with their secondhand "vintage" clothing discussing who is the greater visionary, Wes Anderson or Tim Burton, or the bleach-blondes in their tiny white tank tops with sweat pants, flip-flops and giant bug sunglasses followed closely by their jacked, Aviator, polo'd boyfriends who look as though they should be a villain in an 80's high school movie, or choose whichever group you wish, there are plenty, and I can't help but question their own choices. I can't fathom their thought process when they look around them and see eight other people dressed almost identical to them, listening to the same band, making fun of the people who, in turn, are making fun of them. I have just never understood this. I don't get it. Why would you ever want to conform to these standards, when you have the opportunity to be something unique. It just doesn't register with me. 

And this is what has finally struck a cord with me. My goal in life is to avoid being a stereotype. And I constantly worry that I am falling smack dab into the middle of some larger mass group of people, which I need to get out of as fast as possible. That is why I am friends with the people that I am friends with. Because no one else I know can interact with the polar opposite people that I do. No one else can be friends with the jock of the year and the head of the drama club. No one keeps completely separate company from a minimum of half a dozen "groups" and/or "cliques". 

I don't want to be like everyone else. I want to have my own voice. And I think this is why I am the way I am. I am a very mediocre student because I don't want to end up in that "arrogant A-student" who thinks they are better than everyone else. I am a recreational sport guy only because I couldn't stand to end up like the "professional" athletes, who take it all too seriously. I am an art student, because at my school, you could hold the visual/creative art talent in one regular sized classroom. And I am a drama/film student because I like the idea of being able to fulfill these particular stereotypes without actually having to BE any of them at the same time. 

So does that make sense?? I really think that my goal in life is to be my own person amongst everyone else. It's a simple idea really, but I've only just stumbled upon this realization as of late. I can't really tell if this is a good thing or a bad thing, or whether or not it is holding me back or not, but I guess now that I recognize this fact, the answers will all come into fruition sooner or later. Well, here's hoping anyway.

I can't really help but feel though, that wanting to "be an individual" puts me right in the middle of a far greater stereotype... Shoot.

"Never Let You Go"

I've been home for most of the past two weeks, and thus haven't really been able to blog. That's what's been holding me back. When I'm here, I don't really have the computer access I do at school. I mean, yes, I have my laptop but it's kind of old now, and I just don't have the patience to spend the time I give to my desktop at school. It's not convenient here at home.

Anyway, what's been new?? Well, I am currently sitting here watching one of ESPN's "30/30" films called Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs. The Knicks. Freely admitting my constant boredom of basketball, it might be odd to find me watching a documentary like this. But this one is different. It's the story of a rivalry as opposed to the sport itself. That's what makes "sport" so entertaining. The rivalries of two teams or more specifically, two opponents. 

The legend of Reggie Miller has always interested me in some way actually. Ever since I started showing a slight interest in basketball, Reggie Miller seemed like one of those guys that I could most definitely side with. He seemed intelligent and like he knew what he was doing at all times. So when I came into contact with the story of "Reggie Miller: The Knick Killer" I had to look further. And I don't know if I have ever come across another tale of pure entertainment revolving around one player dominating the entirety of one other, specific team. The legend of Reggie Miller is just too good not to pass up.

So here I sit, watching TSN, catching this documentary. Having just watched the Bruins blow the knock out of the Flyers and then followed that up by flicking between Everybody's Fine and Four Christmases (both do not seem great, by the way), I figured I needed a little bit of a change from mediocre movies and live sporting events. In other words, I am watching something that is of no value after taking a break from watching other things of no value. Fun stuff!!

"Sweetness Follows"

Critical perception is a funny thing. When I hear that a new movie is getting good reviews, I normally accept that fact, and deem it worthy of a listen or a screening. But for movies that were made before I was born, it's a lot more difficult to have an opinion about them because I was not alive to get the first hand information needed to determine if I should see them or not. Let me explain this a little further.

Back in 1972, The Godfather was released. Unless you have been locked in Buffalo Bill's basement hole for the last couple of decades, you are aware of the fact that Coppola's gangster masterpiece is generally considered one of the greatest movies of all time. So, being born when I was, I was never able to fully understand the fact that at the 1972 Oscars, The Godfather took home only 3 Oscars. Now, in all fairness, one of those awards was indeed the Best Picture honor, but the amazing thing is that another film, Cabaret, won 8 statues that year. Now, because I have always associated the former movie as "one of the greatest of all greats", my perception of Cabaret has always been rather low. I've never really had any desire to see it because I've always expected it to be over rated. A movie that was only appreciated around the time it was released, and one that has not aged as well as The Godfather.

In case you can't tell where I'm going with this, I'll just let the cat out of the bag. I have now seen Cabaret and it is really quite brilliant. To the point where I eventually had no problem admitting that Bob Fosse may have in fact done a better directing job that Francis Ford Coppola. I know, I know. That's kind of a bold statement, but it's true. And I may never have known this if I looked beyond the critical perception of these two movies and given Cabaret the chance it deserved.

I don't want to say much more because the movie may be appearing eventually on my "Top 100 Movies of All Time" list, so I'll just leave you with my favourite song and end it there. Unfortunately embedding was disabled, so click the link instead.

"Money"

Top 100 Movies of All Time: #95

95. MODERN TIMES (1936, CHARLIE CHAPLIN)

Starring: Charlie Chaplin, Paulette Goddard

I am pretty sure that this was one of the Chaplin movies that I didn't see until university. Back in high school, I was first introduced to the genius of Chaplin with City Lights and then subsequently The Gold Rush. After those two films, I did what I could to seek out any more of his work that I could, but that search led me to The Great Dictator and not much else.

So it came as a rather big shock to me when I was sitting in a communications lecture during first year, and the prof decided that he was going to use the lecture time to show us an assortment of clips for Modern Times. And it was brilliant. It was just absolutely hilarious. In the time that I had screened those other films in high-school, and this university class, I had totally forgotten how talented Charlie Chaplin really was.

What I love about Modern Times is that despite the rather simple nature of the whole film, every joke works time and time again. The way in which the events happen is very episodic, yet, you don't care. They are acting almost as individual little vignettes which beneath the surface, are all tightly wound together to make the premise of the whole film. The physical comedy that Chaplin evokes is just timeless as well. The bit at the beginning where he is tightening the nuts and bolts on the conveyor belt is some of the best commitment to a joke that I have ever seen. His coordination is flawless. And then of course there is the new "worker feeding machine" (which the above image is of). I would argue that that sequence is one of the funniest moments in any Chaplin film that I have seen... and it stays as funny, every time that I have seen it.

A large amount of credit is also due to Paulette Goddard. Despite having been made in the 1930's, she transcends the era and makes it look as though she could be playing this part from the present day. That might sound a bit odd, but think about it. When you watch an old movie like this, you are well aware of the era that it is set in because of the way the actors act, or the way they carry themselves, no?? Well, in this film, Goddard overcomes that, and makes it seem as though she is straight out of 1996, or any subsequent year.

My favourite scene in the film, was one that wasn't shown in that communications class. See, the reason that that prof showed us clips, was to initiate visuals about how industrialization was beginning to work at the turn of the century. The scene in which I deem my favourite was one that had nothing to do with industrialization, and thus, I hadn't seen it until I watched the film in full, during another (film) class. The part in the movie that I am referring to is the "The Nonsense Song" sequence. If you have never seen this movie, you may not know then that it isn't actually a silent comedy like the majority of Chaplin's work. It does rely heavily on that typical "silent" humour, but it is in fact Chaplin's first movie he made in the "sound" era.

Anyway, the scene that I love is the most prominent "sound" scene in the movie. Chaplin's Tramp has taken a job at a restaurant with Paulette, and is accidentally mistaken by the crowded room as the night's entertainment. So, he takes his place in the middle of the room, and then gives them all a song... consisting of no real words at all. Instead of taking the opportunity to allow the Tramp, the staple character of Chaplin's repertoire, to speak for the first time ever, he uses the scene to enhance the mystery of the character by having him sing in complete jibberish. The entire sequence is just pure gold, because it comes off as though it's a real song that he's singing. He plays to the crowd, and they laugh at him as though they get what he's joking about, yet there are no recognizable words... just a fake language that he seems to be making up on the spot. Here, watch for yourself:

In an era when silent pictures were becoming extinct, Chaplin embraces his silent film techniques, and makes an absolute classic sound picture without really saying any words at all.

"Honey I'm just trying, to make some sense, out of me."

Remember that time when I blogged, like, every day?? Or close to every day?? Well, it's time to start that shit up again. Summer officially began for me last night, and I plan to take total advantage of this free time by getting back into my writing.

And no, it's not going to be one of those times where I say it's time to write more, and then just fall back into the same pit of despair. No, not gonna happen. The semester is over, and I have no excuse. Well, I mean, I guess I will technically have an excuse, because I'm only off for a week and a half before my summer classes start up, but still!! It's not the same situation, so I'm getting to this thing again.

Or else... something. I don't really have the creative impulse to write something funny there, but SOMETHING will happen!! Perhaps involving pie... we'll have to see though.

Also, hey Jo!! Sorry I didn't write a huge long blog for you to procrastinate with the other day. I was too busy studying for exams and whatnot. I apologize.

"Speedy Gonzalez, why don't you come home??"

Hoping to spark myself into writing more consistently, I figured I'd keep this going with a second post for today. Back in November, I was pumping out like a post a day. I have less posts in 2010 so far than I did TOTAL for the month of November last year. Kind of bad.

Anyway, over the course of the last two days, I have been very "nostalgic". What do I mean by that?? Well, I have taken the last couple of days to discover a few things that I had not previously no experience with. Proof of this?? As I right this sentence, Rick Springfield is playing in the background. And it's both hilarious and awesome. I'm not talking "Jesse's Girl" either. Everyone knows "Jesse's Girl". I'm talking OTHER Rick Springfield. Fan. Tastic.

But the one thing that I had never paid any attention to until now, was a show that I had always written off as "trash". I had never been interested in it, because I always assumed it would be tacky and tasteless and not in the least scary. The show that I am referring to is "Tales From The Crypt" from the late 80's, early 90's. As it's pretty obvious to tell, all of my preconceptions were wrong wrong wrong.

On Friday, on one of the many blogs that I follow (ToplessRobot.com for anyone who's interested) they did a Top 10 list of the greatest ventriloquist dummy centered stories. Now, having always been a tad terrified by ventriloquist dummies, my interest in them had always been quite heavy. Isn't that the way it goes though?? If something scares us, we tend to be intrigued by anything involving that particular thing. Hell, when I'm bored, it normally results in me youtubing videos of Sharks and Spiders and such. Happened tonight actually.

Back on track though. I was checking out this list about ventriloquist dummies, and was familiar with a few of the entries on the list, and laughing at a few of the really obscure, 1950's B-Movie ones. But at number 5 on the list (or thereabouts), an entry called "The Ventriloquist's Dummy" appeared, and it caught my eye. It seemed somewhat contemporary, which confused me, because other than the whole "Goosebumps" episodes set around "Slappy" the dummy, I didn't think there was a movie or an anthology series that would have been around recently to cover the subject. So I read on.

Obviously, I soon discovered that it was an episode of "Tales From The Crypt". Normally, I would have just kept on going down the list, but I had to stop for this one because a name jumped out at me: Don Rickles. This particular episode featured legendary comic Don Rickles as the main character. "Alright. Intrigue me" I thought. So I read on.

The plot synopsis sounded pretty standard. I realized that it also starred Bobcat Goldthwait, which was neither a plus, or minus in it's favour. But there was also a youtube link to the entire episode. This was really compelling to me. I was in the middle of procrastinating on an essay anyway, so why not, I clicked on the video, and started watching the thing.

Right at the beginning, I wasn't fully into it. It seemed kind of cheesy, and a little too campy. But, the quality was better than "The Twilight Zone" reboot, which I have watched a lot of, so I hung in there and gave it the time to get into itself. About half way into the episode, I was hooked.

It was sick. It was twisted. It was funny. But most importantly of all, it was not what I expected. And I'm not just talking quality either. I mean, the actually plot of this particular episode caught me completely by surprise when the big reveal happens at the very end. I mean, I thought I had it figured out. It seemed stereotypical enough. Dummy controls ventriloquist. Ventriloquist goes crazy. Popcorn, credits, curtain.

No way. My jaw literally dropped from the shock of the twist, and how hilariously disgusting it really is. I was under the impression that there were no more twist endings out there. Everything had been done. And then I watched this, and I have been completely re-invigorated with hope that there are still ideas to be had. If you have the 25 minutes to spare, I recommend given it a glance:

So of course, my next course of action after finishing this episode off, is to seek out other ones from the series. And to my luck, youtube had a bunch. So I watched another one. And another. And by jove, they just kept getting better and better. All of them, with their mix of maniacal humour and horrifying gore, harken back to the beginnings of Sam Raimi's career, or Peter Jackson's. This show was exactly what "The Twilight Zone" for the 1990's should have been. I'm so pissed it took me this long to figure this out.

Now, not all of the episodes that I have seen end up having that same "100% Awesomeness Guaranteed" mantra, but they are all, in the least, entertaining to watch. Probably the best one I have seen so far is "Carrion Death", about a criminal who escapes prison (played by Kyle MacLachlan) and is pursued by an officer in the desert. The two engage in a fight, where the officer handcuffs the criminal to himself. Of course, the criminal shoots and kills the cop, but not before the cop swallows the handcuffs keys. So now, the criminal has to try and make it through the desert, to Mexico, with the dead body of the cop attached to him at the wrist. How fucking amazing is that!? It's so very good. "Cutting Cards" is phenomenal as well. Lance Henrikson is in that one.

Anyway, over the past few days I have been biding my time with this show and wondering to myself why we don't have any of these awesome things any more. Like, where is our anthology horror series?? Or where is our Rick Springfield?? Or where is our Brat Pack?? (Sorry, I watched The Outsiders last night for the first time, and it was okay, but why can't we have a group of awesome kids like that in Hollywood today?? Ralph Macchio!? C. Thomas Howell!?).

The naughts were a weak decade peeps. Very, very weak.

Playlists: Exams

It feels as though everything that has been posted on my blog recently has begun with an apology to myself for neglecting writing on here. So, instead of doing that this time (because, let's face it, it's happened again) I'm just going to dive right into the post.

This is the second installation of the whole "playlist" thing. I figure a month later (give or take) is when I normally rotate my songs on my iPod and such, and although there are always a couple of carryovers that stick with me for elongated periods of time, there are always a couple new entries into the ol' electronic record player.

Without further ado, I give you my "Exams" playlist...

"Ten Million Slaves" by OTIS MILLER

If the song title doesn't ring a bell, then you will probably recognize it as the main track (it's not OFFICIALLY the main track, but it's the one most prominently featured) in Michael Mann's very, very less-than-mediocre Public Enemies. This song is great for two reasons: 1) I love hearing it and being reminded of the movie's trailer which was SO awesome. It makes me forget for a second that the movie itself never lived up to the quality of the stellar preview in which this song was featured. 2) Miller's mix of old-school folk/blue grass and contemporary electric rock is perfect. There is this aura around the song that allows it to almost transcend time. It harkens back to the 1930's but sounds like it was made yesterday. In accomplishing that, it meshes together a gumbo full of southern rock essence. Fantastic.

"Bad Things" by JACE EVERETT

The "True Blood" theme song?? You betcha. Do I watch "True Blood"?? Absolutely not. I just love the opening of it. I wish the show could have lived up to that. Oh well. The song from the opening credits is wicked. In every sense of the term. It's badass country at its best.

"Work in Progress" by SISTER HAZEL

Probably my second favourite band behind Counting Crows, Sister Hazel have always, always, always put out music that I love. "Work in Progress" continues to pop up on my playlists every now and then because it's a massively upbeat tune with a harsh reality behind the lyrics. Besides finding that I relate to being a "work in progress" as they preach, I love the way that they develop the personality of the song. For some reason I relate it to Ben Folds' "Song for the Dumped" in that they are almost making excuses but in an "in-your-face" kind of way, so as to not lose face with anything. Have I read to far into this?? Perhaps. But either way, it's a fantastic song that strays away from their more soft rock-esque music and falls into a category basically by itself. It's fast. It's catchy. And it's great to boost your confidence after writing an exam you think you did pretty well on.

"American Saturday Night" by BRAD PAISLEY

The inclusion of Brad Paisley's newest one is on here really just due to the fact that it's Brad Paisley's newest. Simple as that. The man is probably the best male country artist working today and everything that he produces is usually fucking gold. This song is no exception. I haven't loved it as much as "Celebrity" or "Online" quite yet, but it's at least on the same level as "The World" or "Alcohol". Especially considering I haven't been up to date on my country ever since a lot of the new artists started sounding the same, it is good to know that Paisley is still around producing some great, new classics. Very reassuring.

"Private Conversations" by LYLE LOVETT

When I was younger, I hated Lyle Lovett for no other reason than I thought he was too weird looking to have married Julia Roberts. And I've never had any excessive feelings for Julia Roberts either, I was just against someone that odd marrying outside of his own league. Apparently when I was younger, I had celebrity marriage issues. Anywho, now that I've grown, and luckily happened upon some of my dad's music, I have heard some of Lovett's music. And by golly is it awesome. With "Private Conversations", I have yet to have mastered the actual lyrics themselves, but it has such an awesome, gentle tone that I haven't needed to learn the words quite yet. I enjoy just listening to the smoothness of it while walking to campus in the morning. It really helps to relax me, which I definitely need sometimes.