"When I was a child, everybody smiled. Nobody knows me at all."

1. I've been listening, and loving, The Weepies the last little bit.

2. This is something that I'm working on. Might not look like anything now, but if I finish it, it'll become more clear. Call it a "teaser".

Things That I Love Today: THIS

Presented without comment:

Playlists: June and Beyond

Haven't done one of these in a while, and my iTunes has been running almost non-stop the last little bit, so I figured it was time again. Here's what I'm listening to at the present moment:

"Heart Like Mine" by MIRANDA LAMBERT

Probably the first song by her that has found a consistent spot on my rotation since "Famous in a Small Town" came out a few years ago. I can't really put a finger on why I enjoy it so much. It's very catchy, and has a nice "soft-rock" touch even though it's an unmistakable country song. The message it sends even gets me a little bit. Un-perfect should be good enough for anyone. I applaud you Miranda Lambert. Very nice of you.

"Felt Good On My Lips" by TIM MCGRAW

Maybe the first "new" Tim McGraw song that I have ever liked. I didn't really take to the guy until after his songs were popular and in the public's eye. I'm not even sure why, but I used to really dislike the guy. Since I've opened myself up to him though, he's a had a few songs that continually rotate through my repertoire, but nothing from his recent collections. Until now. This one is different for him. It's like a new sound that he's trying out, and yet it still works as a "Tim McGraw" song. To me, those are the best country artists: those who can re-invent themselves, without distancing from their "sound". Here, McGraw accomplishes that with, again, another specifically summer tune. Very cool, and breezy. You and Miranda can sit side by side on my Summer car CD.

"Thought of You"/"Nobody Knows Me At All" by THE WEEPIES

I came across these guys kind of by accident. There was a brilliant animation done to their song "Thought of You" by animator Ryan Woodward, and I adored it. From there, I only recently looked into their other stuff, and I have pretty much fallen in love. They have such a different sound to me. Different than any other artists who would fall into the same category of music anyway. It also just sounds so beautiful, regardless of the song. There is something about the flow of it that is relaxing and gorgeous. Anyway, those two songs hit the deepest, so they have been getting played a tad more frequently. Here. I'm even gonna be nice and will provide that animation I mentioned. Bask in it's beauty...

Thought of You from Ryan J Woodward on Vimeo.

"People Know You By Your First Name" by DEAN BRODY

Technically NOT my favourite song from his album "Trail in Life" (that would be "Roll That Barrel Out") but this IS the song that I've transitioned to for Summer listening purposes. Went out and bought his album blind, based solely on my appreciation for "Barrel" and this was the next best song that Brody had. I can't really figure why, but I've got a soft spot for "small town country" songs, despite growing up in a suburb my whole life. With "First Name" Brody touches on his first hit, "Dirt Road Scholar" which is one of my favourites from the last few years in country music, so through nostalgia alone, the song has got me. But, just as with McGraw, it doesn't sound the same. It's similar in it's execution, but he provides something completely unique of his earlier stuff. Also, it's a great song to just belt.

"Am I The Only One?" by DIERKS BENTLEY

Sorry, another country one. It's summer. That's what I tend to gravitate towards. It just, fits. This is the first Dierks song I've enjoyed in a while. He did unfortunately dip into the part of his career where a lot of his new music was kinda slow, and it all sounded very similar. Here, he gets back to where he left off with "What Was I Thinkin'?" and "How Am I Doin'?" (Apparently he has his best moments with songs asking questions...) Once again, I don't know why a song about drinking and partying is so enjoyable for me, but it is. I don't question it. It's fun. It's just a very fun song. And it's what Dierks had been missing for the last little while I think. So, welcome back, sir.

"As long as the stars are burning."

I'm crashing and burning on this infograph I am doing, so "blog" was the only logical distraction. Makes sense, right??

Last night I watched Stanley Kramer's Judgment at Nuremberg (1960) for the very first time. As a movie, it is very well crafted. Considering the majority of the three hour running time takes place in a single courtroom, it is rather remarkable how Kramer effectively shimmies and sways his camera around the action to make it seem as though more than just talking is happening. In that way, the movie is pretty darn good. But what really, and I mean really sets this movie apart from almost every other film I have ever seen, is the acting. Oh, the acting... I was blown away.

The very best way that I can describe the film is the ultimate actor's movie. Why?? Because almost every line of dialogue is a lengthy monologue or exchange. The amount of speeches given in this movie, distributed between the characters, and the number of intense exchanges between the immense talents is just a remarkable thing to watch. I would say that if you ever wanted "that role" to show off your chops, pick any one from this script and try to pull it off, because sister, this script was written for ACTORS.

Spencer Tracy plays the American judge assigned to head the tribunal for four German judges on trial to determine their level of responsibility for the Holocaust. To be perfectly honest, despite being nominated for Best Actor for this film, he was probably the weakest performance out of the bunch. He's still rather fantastic, but compared to Maximillian Schell (who actually won the Oscar for this film) as the passionate, German defense attorney, Tracy sort of fades into the back in my mind. Yes, he's there front and centre most of the film, and he's great with what he does, but like I said, the rest of the movie is filled with such meaty monologues for everyone else to shine that Tracy kind of has to take the back seat. Burt Lancaster, as the main judge of the four on trial, kind of solemnly stares in a trance the entire film. I was just waiting to see the reason that he would have chosen to do this movie and then sure enough, there it was. His ending speech. Fan-friggin-tastic.

The two who, for me anyway, stole everything they touched, we actually Judy Garland and Monty Clift. Oh man. They each play witnesses called to the stand during the trial, and bloody hell, that is acting as good as I have ever seen it. It's hard to describe in words what it is about their performances, but by God, it is a thing of beauty.

That is a movie that I have always put off watching because of it's run time (3 hrs. is a damn long time) but now that I've seen it, I am a little angry that I left it that long. It is now arguably the best performed film I have ever seen. And if it's not the best, then it's right up there with the best.

"Brother it's easy, you leave the dream to make it true."

I speak so vehemently about how I don't really connect with people unless they are passionate about something. I know exactly what you're thinking, and the answer is, I have no idea who is around when I "speak" of this, but it's something that I have indeed stated aloud, and think it regardless. Sorry if you haven't been around me when I've mentioned it. It's true though. I tend to become bored with those who don't seem to have substance, as if they don't have that one thing that they can call their own. That one thing that, when they talk about it, you can feel the spray of importance whisping out with every word they say. It doesn't even have to be something that I am also a fan of. In fact, a lot of the time it's not. Politics. World issues. Video Games. A lot of things I know very little or CARE very little about, yet, I think I can still connect with these individuals who take these topics as their passion.

One of the most painful things for me is to stand and have to make chit-chat with someone who has nothing behind that blank stare of theirs. Those who float through the everyday, conforming to what the latest fashion magazines tell them to wear, and what products they saw last night on MTV. Those people who are liberals because all the cool celebs are liberal. Those people who can sit and watch reality television without a clue that it is trash. Truly, truly painful stuff.

But here I am today, and I am wondering if I have the passion that I so often seek in others. I know that up until this point, I thought that I had it. Unlike most people, I can sit and watch a movie I've seen dozens of times and still get goosebumps at the moment that John Cusack holds up the boombox outside of Ione Skye's window/at the moment Harrison Ford has to outrun a giant boulder/at the moment that Jaws first appears outside of the boat/at the moment that John Travolta starts dancing again during "You Can't Stop the Beat"/at the moment Tim Robbins crawls out of the pipe and stands in pure euphoria in the pouring rain/at the moment we find out who Tyler Durden really is/etc., etc., etc. I always figured that that was something special. These movies have provided me with so many moments to cherish forever, that I can still watch them, and feel their power. I've experienced the same sort of thing with TV Shows, and even with music. But, I'm unfortunately beginning to wonder if I'm mistaking appreciation for passion.

I figure to be passionate about something, you have to live and breath whatever that thing is. The level in which this is interpreted I believe depends on the person, but generally, the passion should probably live in your everyday life. So, I look at my everyday life, and I ask myself: do movies live in my everyday life? Yeah, I'd say that's a fair statement. But, despite the fact that I think, and re-enact, and quote, and reference movies throughout my whole existence, I never really do anything involving movies. I always think about doing things, and I bank the ideas. But really, I kind of just float through my life, coming up with "thoughts", never really doing anything about it, and just hoping that those thoughts will become useful to me down the road. That's it. I can talk your ear off about movies if that's what you want. But as far as actual, genuine, without a doubt experience with the medium I so often cite as my "passion"?? I think I come up on empty.

It's of course not only with movies either. I love art and have always figured there was a passion there. Again though, I say I love it, and am passionate about it, but so rarely do I actually indulge in it. I don't know about you, but I would figure that in order to be passionate about something (in the way that I judge people for not being passionate), you should probably partake in that activity every once in a while. And yes, I do watch movies. I talk about them. I draw for the newspaper. But, on my free time?? I'm on the internet. I'm watching TV. I'm watching movies. Nothing that I really get from any of that, right??

Which brings me to that final question then: Am I a passionate person?? I think that I want to be, but I haven't done enough to prove that. And so begins June, a month in which I hope to change these feelings. I want, by the end of the summer, to be able to look back and, with confidence, be able to say that I did something useful this summer.

I want to indulge my passions.

"Earth Angel, Earth Angel, will you be mine??"

I dreamt the other night that she was there, giving advice to someone else on how to be my friend. Her advice was to "just act like his girlfriend." I actually thought to myself, "Wow. This is an interesting revelation."

Then I remembered it was a dream.

The Weird Stuff I See: Runaways...

Heading back to school from home the other day (only went for the night to complete a hockey pool), I grabbed the 8:30am bus. Being an idiot, I forgot to charge my iPod as it had died just as got home the day before, so I had no music to listen to on the almost 2hr ride back to school. Because of this, I chose to read a play that I had to, and try to distract myself from any other people who were conversing around me.

I lucked out and only had someone sitting beside me for two stops, so I lounged between two seats for the majority of the ride. Being that it was that early, on a Thursday morning, there weren't very many people on the bus either, so not having music wasn't as bad as I was anticipating. I had a play on me, and decided to bide my time by reading that. That was, until the two homeless middle school children began talking.

I was maybe the third person on the bus, so I got to get myself settled in first and see all the other people who were going to be taking the bus with me. After about 5 minutes, a young girl (or rather I THINK it was a girl... pretttty sure) in a new era cap and giant, floppy coat entered the bus, and was stopped by the driver. Apparently, she had not paid as much as she thought she had or something on the bus BEFORE this one, and thus the driver was making her pay again. She did as she was told, but judging by her reaction as she came to take a seat, she was not happy about it. At all.

She made her way down the middle of the bus, and sat across the aisle from where I had sat. Following her was a slightly taller, similar in attire, same aged, black kid, who sat down in the seat beside her. I was trying to indiscreetly place them as to what/who they were, but couldn't figure it out right away.

Once they started conversing however, I drew some conclusions.

These two kids, who were at the very MOST, the age of grade 9 students, were a pair of runaways. They were obviously going to Waterloo in order to live on the streets there, as opposed to Toronto, where I heard them talk about often.

They discussed drugs and being totally wasted and what not. It was very odd and semi-disturbing to hear them talk about such things being that neither one of their voices had dropped yet. It was a pre-pubescent version of something you'd hear on "The Wire" (which, when I think about now, actually might happen on "The Wire"...). But regardless, I tried my best to focus on my play, and just ignore what was happening to my left.

What happened next, I was not prepared for.

The girl was obviously distraught over something. The guy, was not. But what was clear is that the two of them helped each other out. It was heart-breaking and heart-warming at the same time. At least, it was heart warming until I hadn't heard anything from them in a while. I looked over to investigate the silence, and noticed that underneath the jacket that the male had placed over his lap, there was movement. Consistent movement. Up and down. I could not see the girl's right hand.

Immediately, I felt sick to my stomach. I can't say for sure, but I am pretty certain, he was getting a handy like, 4 feet away from me. As I was attempting to deduce whether what was happening beside me was ACTUALLY what was happening beside me in order to say something to make them stop, the movement came to an end. Kind of abruptly. Because of this, it makes me think that it might not have taken place. But then again...

Either way, it made me feel gross until I got off the bus. It was weird. Hopefully, I don't have to go through THAT again...

Things That I Love Today: 13

"The bitch is back."

"If you think I'll just be sitting here waiting..."

Wow, does NOT feel like a week since I last posted. Didn't mean for that to happen.

Not in a particularly "in depth" kind of mood. Breaking the last few days down in point form:

• VA's were yesterday

• Started off pretty good; won "Graphic of the Year"

• C0-hosted the event and that went over well I thought

• Did some karaoke (sang Dierks Bentley's "What Was I Thinkin'")

• Ended the night in a crappy mood

• Too many reasons why, the most prominent of which was a 9am exam this morning

• Bad sleep last night; couldn't study as much as I wanted to

• Exam today was meh; wrote it in the worst room, felt sick all the way through it

• Came home after and slept 'til tonight

• Still felt crappy all day

• Then, did an ice cream study break and crappy mood was lifted

• Hopefully, it stays this way

"Oh baby!! Oh what a cryin' shame!!"

This past week, was not as bad as it could have been. Part of this could be because I set myself to cruise control from Wednesday until now (for good reason), but I think my "not letting it beat me" attitude helped with getting through the week.

My work at the paper is done for the year though. Tear. I have to say, the year in producing a newspaper turned out to be almost exactly what I expected. It was really fun. It was the opposite of that some times, but overall, I would do it again in a heartbeat. And I am. Kind of.

I got the Visuals Director position at the paper next year, which is kind of different from being Graphics Editor, but not too far off. So I'm excited to try something a little different, and a little more challenging creatively. But, of course, I'm up for it. Drawing and that sort of thing is quite a bit more fun for me than school has been over the last couple semesters. In fact, if I didn't have the paper, or Fr!nge or any other extra-curricular stuff to do, then I dunno if I would have lasted as long as I have.

Despite being back at the paper again next year, it's gonna be different, both good and bad. I mean, I am going to thoroughly miss some of the peeps I worked with this year. No way am I turning this blog into sentimental drivel, but I figure I've developed some strong friendships because of The Cord, and that is going to be sorely missed.

The fact that we had our last issue of the current school year released on Wednesday has had time to settle on me, and I'm not particularly bothered by that. Some people leaving (and even some staying) absolutely lost it, which I can understand. But for me, I just... I am proud of the year, and now I can move on to the next.

It would have been kind of nice for the last issue to write one last piece on the year, but I didn't have the time to write anything. Like I said previously, I wanted to maybe write something on Liz Taylor, but I simply had too many other things to do. I did actually get to partake in our group review of Sucker Punch though, which was nice. The movie was unbelievably disappointing, but the article was nice to partake in. And I got to do the graphic for it, which I

enjoyed and was quite proud of.

So yeah. The year is over. Out of it, I got some great work,

and some great friends.

Now let's see what the next one will bring...