"Head Over Feet"

Yesterday was genuinely the worst work day I've ever experienced since being a student. It was literally an entire day of me avoiding work and feeling so unbelievably anxious that it was making me sick. I tried to calm myself down, but it didn't seem to be any use. Having this looming cloud of school work hang over my head caused me, for the first time in my life, to feel like I was actually going to pass out. I sat at my computer and physically had to grab the desk because I almost fell over. It was frightening. 

I'm glad I made the decision to head to bed last night instead of keeping myself up, and forcing myself to do work that I so obviously didn't want to do. I awoke today and I was fine. I was quite willing to finish my papers that had instigated this entire ordeal anyway. I don't know what the hell the deal was yesterday. I kept telling myself that it was just school, and it wasn't this big of a deal. That didn't work. Even a little bit. And then that stupid spider video didn't help at all. I can't even watch it any more. And I have tried. But it makes my heart pound too hard, and I have to stand and shake it off. 

Today is going okay so far, and I refuse to fall into that "pit of despair" (as I deemed it yesterday). I am going to get these papers done, work on my storyboards a little bit, email my cast and attend my screening tonight. That is the plan, and I feel no anxiety whatsoever. 

So "Fuck You very much" November 22. You didn't help me in the least.