"I feel like I'm fading away..."

You know what I want?? I want to be surrounded by creativity. I want to have the ability to sit down and just be funny with other people who are funny. I want to be able to sit down and know that the people around me respect my abilities. I want to be able to have friends who understand what I'm all about and be able to reciprocate the same towards them. I know I have friends like this, but at this exact second, I don't. And I want to be able to be with them.

I want those who think that they are the best to be taken down a notch. And I want to be the one to do it. I want to be able to sit them down and explain to them why they are arrogant and egotistical and that they don't have any respect from me. I want them to know that everything isn't always about them.

I want to know that what I choose to do with my life is going to matter. I also want to know and fully accept the fact that school is not the end of the world. I know I'm not failing, but I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and say that if I get a "C", I will still be alive the next day so what the fuck was I worried about.

I really just want to sit around and do the things that I love all the time, and go to classes and know that I'll make it through it all, and not have to deal with the idiots who consistently fill the space around me. I want all that!!

And what I really want, is to know that this exam tomorrow is not going to fuck me over. 

But it's almost 5 am and I can't convince myself otherwise.